" "Ah, ha! Well, maybe I'll come to
it by and by." [Laughter.] You look around upon the army, the
constabulary, the police, and you begin to think that Ireland is a good
deal like our own city of Troy, where there are two police forces on
duty--that it is governed a great deal. You can't help thinking of the
philosophical remark made by that learned Chinese statesman, Chin Lan
Pin, when he was here at the time Dennis Kearney was having an
unpleasantness with the Orientals. A man said to him, "Your people will
have to get out of here; the Irish carry too much religion around to
associate with Pagans." "Yes," said Chin Lan Pin, "we have determined to
go. Our own country is too overcrowded now, we can't go there, and I
think we'll go to Ireland." Said the man, "To Ireland? You will be
jumping out of the frying-pan into the fire." Said Chin Lan Pin, "I have
travelled in your country and all around a good deal, and I have come to
the conclusion that nowadays Ireland is about the only country that is
not governed by the Irish." [Applause and laughter.]
Then you go to Scotland. You want to learn from personal observation
whether the allegation is true that the Scotch are a people who are
given to keeping the Sabbath day--and everything else they can lay their
hands on. [Laughter.] You have heard that it is a musical country, and
you immediately find that it is.
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