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Various

"Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z"

We have literally
turned the tables on them and patiently endure the trying hardships of
this festive board in order that their memories may not die in
forgetfulness.
We can never forget the hardships which they were forced to endure, but
at the same time we must recognize that they had some advantages over
us. They escaped some of the inflictions to which we have been compelled
to submit. They braved the wintry blast of Plymouth, but they never knew
the everlasting wind of the United States Senate. [Laughter.] They
slumbered under the long sermons of Cotton Mather, but they never
dreamed of the fourteen consecutive hours of Nebraska Allen or Nevada
Stewart. They battled with Armenian dogmas and Antinomian heresies, but
they never experienced the exhilarating delights of the Silver debate
or throbbed under the rapturous and tumultuous emotions of a Tariff
Schedule. [Laughter.]
They had their days of festivity. They observed the annual day of
Thanksgiving with a reverent, and not infrequently with a jocund,
spirit; but advanced as they were in many respects, they never reached
that sublime moral elevation and that high state of civilization which
enable us in our day to see that the only true way to observe
Thanksgiving is to shut up the churches and revel in the spiritual
glories of the flying wedge and the triumphant touchdown.


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