Oh, if
I had only known this before; if only you'd told me, Louisa, perhaps I could
have done something. Maybe they take vows or sign contracts, and so I have
lost her altogether."
"I don't know much about their beliefs, and Susanna never explained them,"
returned Louisa, nervously "but now that you've got something to offer her,
why don't you write and ask her to come back to you? I'll send your letter to
her."
"I don't dare, Louisa, I don't dare," groaned John, leaning his head against
one of the pillars of the porch. "I can't tell you the fear I have of Susanna
after the way I've neglected her this last year. If she should come in at the
gate this minute, I could n't meet her eyes; if you'd read the letter she left
me, you'd feel the same way. I deserved it, to the last word, but oh, it was
like so many separate strokes of lightning, and every one of them burned. It
was nothing but the truth, but it was cut in with a sharp sword. Unless she
should come back to me of her own accord, and she never will, I have n't got
the courage to ask her; just have n't got the courage, that's all there is to
say about it." And here John buried his head in his hands.
A very queer thing happened to Louisa Banks at this moment.
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