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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 158, February 25th, 1920"


"You keep quiet. It isn't your epi--epi--what you said--and, anyway, can't
I even have a quiet row with my own wife without--"
"John, calm yourself," said Cecilia crushingly. "Alan, tell me what you've
been doing."
"Yes," muttered John, "tell her." He subsided into an armchair.
"Well," I said, "you see, Christopher and I were up in the nursery and
getting on quite all right when John butted in--"
"I simply opened--"
"John, keep quiet," said his wife. "Well, Alan?"
"Well, the fact is, Chris and I were in the middle of a great war with all
his soldiers. I had just firmly established fire superiority and was
actually on the verge of launching a huge offensive--the one that was going
to win the war, in fact--when, as I said, in butted this great clumsy
elephant and knocked half of Christopher's army over."
"Purely an accident," said John.
"_Will_ you keep quiet, or must I make you?" asked Cecilia.
"Well, of course," I went on, "finding ourselves suddenly attacked by a
common foe, Chris and I naturally joined forces to defend ourselves.


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