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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Fanny and the Servant Problem"

Which is which?
VERNON [laughs]. Upon my word, I never can tell.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Vernon! And you know I was always your
favourite!
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Dear!
VERNON. Then this is Aunt Alice.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. No dear, Edith.
[Vernon throws up his hands in despair. They all laugh.]
FANNY. I think I shall dress you differently; put you in blue and
you in pink. [She laughs.] Is this the drawing-room?
VERNON. Your room, dear.
FANNY. I like a room where one can stretch one's legs. [She walks
across it.] A little too much desk [referring to a massive brass-
bound desk, facing the three windows].
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It belonged to the elder Pitt.
FANNY. Um! Suppose we must find a corner for it somewhere. That's
a good picture.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. It is by Hoppner.
FANNY. One of your artist friends?
VERNON. Well--you see, dear, that's a portrait of my great-
grandmother, painted from life.
FANNY [she whistles]. I am awfully ignorant on some topics. One
good thing, I always was a quick study. Not a bad-looking woman.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We are very proud of her. She was the
first -
VERNON [hastily]. We will have her history some other time.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [who understands, signs to her sister].
Of course. She's tired. We are forgetting everything. You will
have some tea, won't you, dear?
FANNY. No, thanks.


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