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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Fanny and the Servant Problem"

]
NEWTE. Well, your telegram rather upset me. I thought--correct
etiquette for me to sit down here, do you think?
FANNY. Don't ask me. Got enough new tricks of my own to learn.
[Laughs.] Should chance it, if I were you.
NEWTE. Such a long time since I was at Court. [He sits.] Yes, I
was up at five o'clock this morning.
FANNY [laughs]. Oh, you poor fellow!
NEWTE. Caught the first train to Melton, and came on by cart.
What's the trouble?
FANNY. A good deal. Why didn't you tell me what I was marrying?
NEWTE. I did. I told you that he was a gentleman; that he -
FANNY. Why didn't you tell me that he was Lord Bantock? You knew,
didn't you?
NEWTE [begins to see worries ahead]. Can't object to my putting a
cigar in my mouth if I don't light it--can he?
FANNY. Oh, light it--anything you like that will help you to get
along.
NEWTE [bites the end off the cigar and puts it between his teeth.
This helps him]. No, I didn't know--not officially.
FANNY. What do you mean--"not officially"?
NEWTE. He never told me.
FANNY. He never told you ANYTHING--for the matter of that. I
understood you had found out everything for yourself.
NEWTE. Yes; and one of the things I found out was that he didn't
WANT you to know. I could see his little game. Wanted to play the
Lord Burleigh fake. Well, what was the harm? Didn't make any
difference to you!
FANNY. Didn't make any difference to me! [Jumps up.


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