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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Fanny and the Servant Problem"


FANNY. Thanks.
HONORIA. Your mother's marriage was most unfortunate.
FANNY [her efforts to suppress her feelings are just--but only just--
successful.] Need we discuss that?
HONORIA. Well, he was an Irishman, dear, there's no denying it.
[Fanny takes a cushion from a chair--with her back to Honoria, she
strangles it. Jane has entered and is listening.] Still, perhaps it
is a painful subject. And we hope--all of us--that, with time and
patience, we may succeed in eradicating the natural results of your
bringing-up.
JANE. Some families, finding themselves in our position, would seek
to turn it to their own advantage. WE think only of your good.
FANNY. Yes, that's what I feel--that you are worrying yourselves too
much about me. You're too conscientious, all of you. You, in
particular, Jane, because you know you're not strong. YOU'LL end up
with a nervous breakdown. [Mrs. Bennet has entered. Honoria slips
out. Fanny turns to her aunt.] I was just saying how anxious I'm
getting about Jane. I don't like the look of her at all. What she
wants is a holiday. Don't you agree with me?
MRS. BENNET. There will be no holiday, I fear, for any of us, for
many a long day.
FANNY. But you must. You must think more of yourselves, you know.
YOU'RE not looking well, aunt, at all. What you both want is a
month--at the seaside.
MRS. BENNET. Your object is too painfully apparent for the subject
to need discussion.


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