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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Fanny and the Servant Problem"

Thank you. And
will you pass them the biscuits? You see, I am doing all I can on
your behalf. [She is talking and laughing--a little hysterically--
for the purpose of filling time.] Tea and hot cake--could anything
be worse for them?
DR. FREEMANTLE. Well, tea, you know -
FANNY. I know. [Laughs.] You doctors are all alike. You all
denounce it, but you all drink it. [She hands him the two cups.]
That one is for Aunt Wetherell of the beautiful hair; and the other
is for Aunt Wetherell of the beautiful eyes. [Laughs.] It's the
only way I can distinguish them.
Bennet enters.
Oh, Bennet!
BENNET. You sent for me?
FANNY. Yes. I understand some ladies have called.
BENNET. I think your ladyship must have been misinformed. I most
certainly have seen none.
FANNY. I have to assume, Bennet, that either Dr. Freemantle or you
are telling lies.
A silence.
BENNET. A party of over-dressed young women, claiming to be
acquainted with your ladyship, have arrived in a van. I am giving
them tea in the servants' hall, and will see to it that they are sent
back to the station in ample time to catch their train back to town.
FANNY. Please show them up. They will have their tea here.
BENNET [her very quietness is beginning to alarm him. It shakes him
from his customary perfection of manners]. The Lady Bantocks do not
as a rule receive circus girls in their boudoir.
FANNY [still with her alarming quietness].


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