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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Fanny and the Servant Problem"

How much time have we got?
ENGLAND. Don't ask me. It's Judy's show.
WALES [mimicking Newte]. The return train, ladies, leaves Oakham
station. [Stops--she is facing the clock. She begins to laugh.]
ENGLAND. What's the matter?
WALES [still laughing]. We've got just quarter of an hour to catch
it.
There is a wild rush for the refreshments. Jane is swept off her
feet. Bennet's tray is upset.
ENGLAND. Quarter--! Oh, my Gawd! Here, tuck up your skirts, girls.
We'll have to -
DR. FREEMANTLE. It's all right. You've got plenty of time, ladies.
There's a train from Norton on the branch line at 5.33. Gets you
into London at a quarter to nine.
ENGLAND. You're SURE?
DR. FREEMANTLE [he has his watch in his hand]. Quite sure. The
station is only half a mile away.
ENGLAND. Don't let's miss it. Keep your watch in your 'and, there's
a dear.
FANNY [her business is--and has been--to move quietly through the
throng, making the girls welcome, talking, laughing with them,
directing the servants--all in a lady's way. On the whole she does
it remarkably well. She is offering a plate of fruit to Judy].
You're a nice acting manager, you are. [Judy laughs. Fanny finds
herself in front of Ireland. She turns to England.] Won't you
introduce us?
ENGLAND. I beg your pardon, dear. Of course, you don't know each
other. Miss Tetsworth, our new Ireland, Lady Bantock. It is
"Bantock," isn't it, dear?
FANNY.


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