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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Fanny and the Servant Problem"


The other month is in lieu of notice. [A silence. The thing strikes
them all dumb. She puts the cheque-book back and closes the drawer.
She rises.] I'm sorry. There's been a misunderstanding. It's time
that it ended. It has been my own fault. [To Vernon] I deceived
you about my family -
NEWTE. If there's been any deceit -
FANNY. My scene, please, George. [Newte, knowing her, returns to
silence.] I have no relations outside this country that I know of.
My uncle is Martin Bennet, your butler. Mrs. Bennet is my aunt. I'm
not ashamed of them. If they'd had as much respect for me as I have
for them, this trouble would not have arisen. We don't get on
together, that's all. And this seems to me the only way out. As I
said before, I'm sorry.
VERNON [recovering speech]. But why did you--?
FANNY [her control gives way. She breaks out]. Oh, because I've
been a fool. It's the explanation of most people's muddles, I
expect, if they only knew it. Don't talk to me, anybody. I've got
nothing more to say. [To Bennet] I'm sorry. You wouldn't give me a
chance. I'd have met you half way. [To Mrs. Bennet] I'm sorry.
Don't be too hard on me. It won't mean much trouble to you. Good
servants don't go begging. You can depend upon me for a character.
[To Jane] You'll do much better for yourselves elsewhere. [To
Honoria] Don't let that pretty face of yours ever get you into
trouble. [To Ernest] Good-bye, Ernest.


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