It came over her with still more acute
surprise, that she had never felt this before. It was as if that fire
of shame which had consumed her vanity the night she had confessed to
William King, had brought illumination as well as burning. By its
glare she saw that such a secret as she and Lloyd held between them
would be intolerable in the presence of that young girl. Lloyd had
felt it--here she tingled all over:--Lloyd was more sensitive than
she! Ah, well; Alice was his own daughter, and he knew how almost
fanatical she was about truth; so he was especially sensitive. But Dr.
King? He had felt it about David: "whether you married this man or not
would make no difference about David." She thought about this for
awhile in heavy perplexity.
Then with a start she came back again to what she must say to Dr.
Lavendar: "I will promise to bring David up just as he wishes; and I
will tell him about my money; he doesn't know how rich I am; he will
feel that he has no right to rob David of such a chance. And I will
say that nobody could love him as I can." Love him! Had she not given
up everything for him, sacrificed everything to keep him? For his sake
she had not married! In this rush of self-approval she sat up, and
looked blindly off over the orchard below her at the distant hills,
blue and slumberous in the sunshine. Then she leaned her head in her
hands and stared fixedly at a clump of clover, green still in the
yellowing stubble.
Pages:
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347