I could take my time and choose my
opportunity. Perhaps I should not have killed him, but I had
sworn to have my revenge--and there he was, poor vain fool, at my
mercy. I was in no hurry.
"Two years later I had to reconsider my position, for my revenge
was being taken out of my hands. Mark began to drink. Could I
have stopped him? I don't think so, but to my immense surprise I
found myself trying to. Instinct, perhaps, getting the better of
reason; or did I reason it out and tell myself that, if he drank
himself to death, I should lose my revenge? Upon my word, I
cannot tell you; but, for whatever motive, I did genuinely want
to stop it. Drinking is such a beastly thing, anyhow.
"I could not stop him, but I kept him within certain bounds, so
that nobody but myself knew his secret. Yes, I kept him
outwardly decent; and perhaps now I was becoming like the
cannibal who keeps his victim in good condition for his own ends.
I used to gloat over Mark, thinking how utterly he was mine to
ruin as I pleased, financially, morally, whatever way would give
me most satisfaction.
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