To my husband I am a peg on which to hang his luxury,
the sign-post of his ambition, a satisfaction to his vanity. He has no
real affection for me, and no confidence. Ferdinand is hard and
polished as that piece of marble," she continued, striking the
chimney-piece. "He distrusts me. Whatever I may want for myself is
refused before I ask it; but as for what flatters his vanity and
proclaims his wealth, I have no occasion to express a wish. He
decorates my apartments; he spends enormous sums upon my
entertainments; my servants, my opera-box, all external matters are
maintained with the utmost splendor. His vanity spares no expense; he
would trim his children's swaddling-clothes with lace if he could, but
he would never hear their cries, or guess their needs. Do you
understand me? I am covered with diamonds when I go to court; I wear
the richest jewels in society, but I have not one farthing I can use.
Madame du Tillet, who, they say, is envied, who appears to float in
gold, has not a hundred francs she can call her own. If the father
cares little for his child, he cares less for its mother. Ah! he has
cruelly made me feel that he bought me, and that in marrying me
without a 'dot' he was wronged. I might perhaps have won him to love
me, but there's an outside influence against it,--that of a woman, who
is over fifty years of age, the widow of a notary, who rules him.
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