I might
be able to raise quite a nice sum for our local Seed Potato Committee by a
Spring raffle of my longer and more elaborate compositions. And since
everybody is beginning to take a modern view of Bonus Bonds I do not think
that a raffle for such a purpose need arouse serious opposition.
Trusting that Your Grace will be able to give me your considered opinion in
this matter, which is arousing so much attention at the present time,
I am, Your Grace's humble and obedient Servant,
LAURENCE LONGWIND.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Resident at Boarding House_ (_to waiter_). "DO YOU CALL
THIS STUFF MARGARINE OR MARJARINE?"
_Mike._ "SURE, SORR, IT'S HERSELF WOULD SLING ME OUT IF I CALLED IT
ANNYTHING BUT BUTTHER."]
* * * * *
FORE AND AFT.
The A.S.C.'s a nobleman; 'e rides a motor-car,
'E is not forced to 'ump a pack, as we footsloggers are;
'E drives 'is lorry through the towns and 'alts for fags and beer;
We infantry, we does without, there ain't no shops up 'ere;
And then for splashin' us with mud 'e draws six bob a day,
For the further away from the line you go the 'igher your rate of pay.
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